Wounds of Love

Caught in the whirlpool of dreamers,

Around us, fantasy keeps escalating,

With nothing but fear consumers,

We embrace the endless time of loving.

We thought we were meant to be,

That our future was foreseen,

That we're the only ones to ever see,

What true love really means.

At first, it started out great,

It was too good to be true,

It was more than just a date,

It was simply me and you.

But too soon we loved,

And too late we knew,

That our time was shoved,

When our love was still new.

With the value of us misjudged,

We had to pay the price,

Misery was created,

Along with a love dice.

The dice recklessly thrown,

And falls hard does the first mistake,

To us it is shown,

Love cant be forcibly made.

To begin, our feeble trust strains,

To continue our love evolves into hate,

To remain our last hope drains,

And to end, we sadly blame fate.

Though it's easy to pretend,

What's the point of it then?

Can the guilty really mend,

As time repeats again?

Our love is a dying patient,

Suffering undeniable pain,

Reading the doctors diagnoses,

Saying there's nothing to be gain.

Our love was left to mime,

And only reminisced as the ashes of us,

Despair commits the perfect crime,

And tricks us into broken trust.

And even though we say,

We want to love evermore,

Inside we crave each day,

To get away from the love that sores.

Ensnared by the truth and lies,

Lost in the subway of eternal vow,

The pleasure of loving cries,

Where do we go now?

We gambled our love away,

Thinking we could last,

Instead we both strayed,

And kept wishing for the past.

We hurt each other too much,

By loving too quick to last,

With our hope still in miseries clutch,

We pray that this would end fast.

Now we wish for everything to be,

The way they use to be,

But unfortunately, it will never be,

The way we've always wanted it to be.

We swim in unbearable pain,

A polluted pool of us,

We're both going so insane,

Our love evaporating like cold dust.

The simplicity of us,

The complexity of love,

The innocence of ones lust,

The mistake from up above.

Ther's no comfort in the truth,

Pain is the heart you buy,

Glasses breaking the silent soothe,

Knowing our love will soon die.

Realizing truth hurts,

We part as dying friends,

Realizing this hurts,

We part hoping love mends.

Maybe it's better this way,

Because we hurt each other so,

With all the things we want to say,

We just have to let it go.

Wounds too deep to heal,

Time too short to see,

What we really wanted to feel

The meaning of you and me.

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What's in your Bible.???

My sister had posted a very interesting post the other day on her Facebook page which showed me the side of her that I've always saw growing up. After reading it, it brought a smile to my face. See WE have a trait in us that merely just see “people”. Not their faults, discretions, and definitely not their sexuality. Her post was as follows:

"i know there will be a looooooot of people madd off this comment but understand i am me and you are you buuut...I LOVE GAY PEOPLE...i love their spirit and there kindness...am i gay? NO everyone knows who i am and of course i am not gay but i looooooove gay people and i really dnt care if anyone is mad at this...just sayin..."

As I watched for the shit to hit the fan due to this post, there was one in particular that stood out to me. This person basically said (and I am paraphrasing) that gay people do not bother her but then in the same breath said that they cannot get into the KINGDOM and that God does not approve.

Now! let me break out my bible and typically I wouldn't touch this but its moving me to a point to share my thoughts with you. And please by all means necessary leave a comment because this is a NO JUDGEMENT ZONE! Respect my views and I'll respect yours.

Yes, I believe that there is a GOD but do I think that through the years the bible has been influenced by "man" of course! As everything in this world has been. Now this is where I believe that I will hit a nerve with all this...GOD does not pass judgement so therefore its null and void what everyone says about what they believe is so sinful about homosexuality. This is where personally I believe that the bible is based on INTERPRETATION...again, we were not there! I don't recall rubbing elbows with Jesus and discussing homosexuality or heterosexuality at the dinner table at no point of my life.... And neither did my parents! So I believe that the ones that are using the "Bible" as a shield are only trying to justify their own personal beliefs. Who am I to tell you not to be happy with a MAN or a WOMAN? And who are you to speak so strongly about what the bible says if that's not your walk of life? Gay marriage legal in your state...really, you're wasting my tax dollars to deny someone's way of life. And why is this? What difference or care do you have with what goes on in someone else's house?

A response that my sister had to one comment was " i put that up because I have a lot of gay men around me who are ridiculed for that and I just recently went to a salon with two gay men in there...they are hillllllarious...they crack me up...I do not know any gay women that I am aware of other than the one who got shot down on my page...she came at me crazy but for some reason I really love gay men...they are fun to be around..."

See again, who are we to judge? And how can you be so ignorant to say such hurtful things to and about these people? They are always high spirited and upbeat and loving life as it is dealt. I just don’t know about some people! Well my sister nailed it when she responded to one particular comment with “my belief on that is that it might say that in the bible but it also talks about judging others and that there is only one God who has the right to do that...I am a God fearing woman and this is why I do not judge others. The Bible also gives ten commandments and those who dis obey them well lets just say those without sin cast the first stone...I know I am stoneless with that...I just love people for who they are I am not here to be judge”.

Now hang on because we about to dig into your "bible" a little and to the person that commented on my sisters page I really hope that you are reading... Okay, well the BIBLE says in Ex.21:15 "He that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death." First of all, for those of you that don’t know what smiteth means… it is to strike (lightly or severely, literally or figuratively) so this means that anytime you hit someone you should be put to death! Do you agree with this….Didnt think so!

Lev.20:10 "And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." … C’mon ya’l!, ya’ll wanted to go by the bible….so hmm…which one of ya’ll ready to die cuz you like “her” better or fell outta love with “him”….hmmm…. Didn’t think so!

And now I’m just gonna say “BOOM!!!” (as my friend Anthony says when he’s made his final statement) and end it all with this one for all you holier than thou folks… Dt.22:13-22 "If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her ... and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate.... But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." And this right here….right here… (in my Kat Williams voice) is what my interpretation of this quite frankly this…. If your “boo” already got a baby daddy… She is NOT and virgin…smdh and you and the baby daddy have the right to stone her ass to death cuz she aint. Wow! Do you realize that that….wait….let me get my facts right… according to NSFG (National Survey of Family Growth) Percent of ever-married men and women who ever had premarital intercourse:

• Women (15-44 years of age): 84.9%
• Men (20-44 years of age): 91.3%

Crickets......Crickets......Crickets......Crickets......

Hmmm…..DIDN’T THINK SO!!!

In society where this is such a HOT topic! What are your opinions readers? And are you brave enough to leave a comment?!?!?

SinSiNattie

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Watch over him...Deploying 12/20/2010

Walter Thurmond--Deploying 12-20-2010

As my nephew prepares in his final hours here, and are slowly coming to an end. I cannot help but to wonder why we are still at war. Maybe that is not a question that I should be asking but as a selfish Aunt my heart is aching. I've known this MAN that was once a small boy all his life and I'm so very proud that he made the commitment to serve our country. Sending prayers and love forever with you to carry you through this journey.

Lord, I ask for him courage.
Courage to face and
Conquer his own fears...
Courage to take him where
Others will not go.

I ask for him strength...
Strength of body to protect others...
Strength of spirit to lead others.
I ask for him dedication...
Dedication to his job, to do it well...
Dedication to his country,
To keep it safe.

Give him, Lord, concern...
For those who trust him
And compassion for those
Who need him, and Please Lord...
Through it all be at his side.

I love you always Nephew and will hold you close to my heart

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A Moment In My Past...

This is me...

Why is it so hard to believe that things between us are coming to an end? This is what you wanted because certainly you cannot think that It could have played out any differently. I have been there thru everything. I will have to face the world that thought that you were this great man but the truth is that you are no different than all the other men that have been in my life. I should have played things like you did. Never giving all of myself to you. And certainly not letting everyone believe that you were someone that you were not.

You see, thru it all there is no fault or blame. It just is what it is and at this point, it's all good! For the best. I did care, well hell, I still care but I refuse to let you control my life when you don't even accept me into yours. There will be no more introductions of anyone else that I know. You didn't give me the same respect.

I finally get it. I was a "test drive" a "lease" something that you thought that you could ride for a couple of years and then after that determine if you wanted to keep me. Well that is no longer your choice. You see, if I had the same opportunity that you did there really wouldn't be a reason to have a relationship. Like you said Friends with benefits....I don't do that but apparently I did it with you. You had whatever it was that you had going on and then there was me. Your "biggest secret". You can't have it both ways! But again, you did. I allowed this to go on for quite some time until it put me into a mood of depression.

I have yet another sidebar that always plays a factor....LIFE...you see shit that you refuse to believe. You let shit ride that you know is not fair or ethical. You live your life and I understand that I'm not included in it to nobody but you. What the fuck was I doing??? Why did I allow you into my life like this? Although I said that there is no blame I do blame myself for my misery in our relationship. I accepted what you told me and not what I was seeing with my own eyes. But I wanted to believe you would not lie to me. How dumb was I?

After crying my eyes out and trying to tell you how unhappy I am in our relationship your only response to me was "alright" and "don't". Alright meaning okay, whatever. and "don't" meaning to not keep doing the things that I've been doing to make the shit work. So how do you go into a partnership and the "partner" is silent. They want the proceeds from the transaction but not willing to put in the work.

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Lakota Schools---Ceasing bus service???

After voters again rejected an operating levy earlier this month, officials have eliminated transportation for students in grades nine through 12, and students who live inside a two-mile radius of their school will no longer be eligible for public school transportation.
The changes are supposed to go into effect Jan. 18, 2011, officials said.

During the meeting, some parents spoke out about their concern for the students' safety while walking to school. Others asked how many buses would be cut and if there would be provisions made for children who choose to bike to school.

Officials told students and parents that the board must cut $12 million from the schools' budget if the levy failed.

So what do you think? Take the brief 4 question survey below. Feel free to oomment as well.

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Poetry

This is what i want... Someone to make it like poetry....

Poetry--Tamia

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Celebrating Elizabeth Edwards...July 3, 1949 – December 7, 2010

As we are all aware Elizabeth Edwards lost her battle with breast cancer on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at the young age of 61. Elizabeth was the wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards. But this is not the only thing that defined who she was. Elizabeth was many things to many people: a mother, cancer survivor, an writer as well. Having written two best-selling books, "Resilience" and "Saving Grazes," about her battle with cancer and the separation from her husband she was an advocate for many around the world.

On Monday, Elizabeth released a statement on her Facebook page that read "The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human."

Elizabeth Edwards...you will be missed!

Breast Cancer Facts

• Breast cancer is the most common cancer among American women, after skin cancer.
• Approximately 1 in almost every 8 women (13.4%) will develop breast cancer in her lifetime.
• Breast cancer is the second-leading cause of cancer death in women after lung cancer-- and is the leading cause of cancer death among women ages 35 to 54.
• Only 5% to 10% of breast cancers occur in women with a clearly defined genetic predisposition for the disease. The majority of breast cancer cases are "sporadic," meaning there is no direct family history of the disease. The risk for developing breast cancer increases as a woman ages.

Symptoms for Brest Cancer

• Lump or thickening in or near the breast or in the underarm that persists through the menstrual cycle.
• A mass or lump, which may feel as small as a pea.
• A change in the size, shape, or contour of the breast.
• A blood-stained or clear fluid discharge from the nipple.
• A change in the feel or appearance of the skin on the breast or nipple (dimpled, puckered, scaly, or inflamed).
• Redness of the skin on the breast or nipple.
• A change in shape or position of the nipple
• An area that is distinctly different from any other area on either breast.
• A marble-like hardened area under the skin.

Self Examination Guide

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Rewind! Life After 100...

Wow, it was brought to my attention (by one who shall not me named..lol) that I have surpassed the 100 mark here on my blog. Then I accessed my stat counter and noticed the site has been visited 2,627 times. Wow! It has been truly a blessing to be here with all of you. Life has been taking us thru some craziness in which we have overcome together. The good, the bad, and the just plain ignorance of life. We've been thru it all. We've laughed, we've cried and we said "oh hell naw", "wtf", "omg", "Aight den" and "f'n whatever". So here's to us...celebrating, pop'n bottles, puttin in rotation...lol!

Thanks everyone for I couldn't have done it without you. I've made some of the best friends ever that I'm excited to carry forward in my life. And some leaves that are only here for the season. Now, all you branches...smdh... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with all ya'll but I'll let ya'll roll for a minute..lol! Remember "Roots" that's what most of ya'll are (I'm not gonna say all, and you know who you are...lol!) Do not make me start naming you cuz you know I will put you on blast:) In a good way...well, maybe not.

So, what's to come in the next 100? I have no clue! Keep the topics coming. I'm putting together surveys to get you guys more involved. I really want to see interaction from you. There's nothing like a good debate (ya"ll already know I'll argue any point).

Love Ya, and let's make the most of whats left in the 2010.

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Would You Marry......?

Click on your response and select the "Let Me Know" button to submit.

Here is the twist... If you answered "Maybe..." you must comment as to what the circumstance would be. This will be anonymous I promise not to expose you I just want to know what ya'll thinking about. I will post the results along with my thoughts.

To post a comment:
> Select "Comment" at the end of the post
> Enter your comment in the box
> Choose your Identity
> Select Name/Url and enter your name in the box
> Select Anonymous--If you wish to remain private

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My Ink....Drops...--My 100th Post!!

Send your complaints to the box

I'll read it when I have the time.

Give me a minute to collect my thoughts

and another to put them in rhyme.

Everyone's happy playing games

but their pushing just a little too hard.

I don't care if you don't know my name,

just keep your trash out of my yard.


We've all got a limit of what we can take,

and I've had it to here with your level of fake.


Respect is what you earn

and Trust is what you lose.

A 2nd chance doesn't mean a 3rd

so don't get the two confused.


We've all got our battle, and each our fights,

but after 6 months of hiding you've lost the right.


Who are you fooling with your lies

that my words are full of nothing but hate?

You lose credibility with your disguise

when we consider what you've written of late.

Now their calling for a truce

when I've barely blinked an eye.

I've suffered enough because of you

so believe me when I say you'll cry.


We both know you hate to see me succeed.

Hope you turn green with envy until your eyes bleed.


Liars and bullies be warned

to a higher power you'll have to pay.

And he won't be conformed

by the pitiful excuses you say.


So keep to the shadows while you can still hide,

and pray final forgiveness will not be denied.

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My future No More...

This is me, ripping the paper, dropping the pen.
Forgetting who I was, who I have always been.
Here I stand, one very last time.
To bring you another, pointless, pathetic rhyme.
About a girl with a father, she loved but she hated.
And a guy, she fell in love with, dated.
About the best friend that changed her, set her free.
The friend that will always be, the one that changed her sexuality.
Here I stand, telling you of my therapy sessions.
Another poem of my heart, another "already been said" confessions.
With tears in my eyes, brand new medication on the sink.
A mind filled with far too many thoughts to think.
This is me, for once and for all, swallowing my pride.
Telling the world, I still think of suicide.
And this is me, admitting from the bottom of my heart.
That I am aware, of how much I've torn, and broken apart.
This is me, apoliigizing for one last night.
Saying that I was wrong, and you were completely right.
Here I stand, with nothing but regret.
Because I can't undo the pain I brought to your lives, and I can't forget.
And that's why this is me, walking away for good.
So you can finally forget me, like I always hoped you would.
This is me, ripping my paper, dropping my pen.
Hoping you'll forget, who I was, who I am, who I could have been...
Unfortunately, I have been in this position and never will I ever let ANYONE have this control over me and what my dreams and hopes for success are.

Now this is me going back to the table where my soul can bleed and let the world get to know the real me. Thru my words that I try to speak so clear with clarity. My feelings pouring onto any sort of paper. Just to let you know that my past will no longer be a reflection of my future...

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Words...

i picked up the pen and grasped it tight
the urge to flee i had to fight
the tip brushed the paper and i gasped in awe
as the glorios words began to fall
one after one they hit the page
and grasped on tight as not to fade
they hoped and twirled on through my mind
and jumped on out the ones i find
then layed on down and shone like stars
good to know their finally ours
the endless lines in perfect script
that cause the balanced scale to tip
now one more page and even more
my hopes to stop go out the door
the sunlight slowly starts to fade
as do the words from out my brain
my dancing pen begins to slow
and the list of words stops to flow
the words quiet down to nothing said
as i get on up and head to bed...

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Misperception ... Love or Hate..You Be The Judge

In seeing so many incidents on the news lately of assult or domestic violence against the alleged "loved one" I felt compelled to write this. What are we doing? Why do actions get so out of control to a point where you feel the need to harm oneself or another. And the first thing that is said is "I love/d her or him." Is this really love or a twisted hatred that is carried from deep within other issues....



Life is so unexpected, day after day

Life is another word for love and hate in every way

You can meet amazing friends that you'll love for years

But in the end most friends will just bring you to tears

Life can be as simple as a friendship ending in preschool

Over not sharing a crayon with a color you thought was cool

Or it can even be hating someone you don't even know

But when you meet them friendship starts to grow

It could be meeting your first love, thinking it will last

And when it's over you still think of them day after day but realize that was the past

You could have a best friend one day, and the next they can hate you

And in a snap, just like that, you're over, it's through

Maybe everyone you ever loved was fake and two faced,

They treated you wrong, you did so back, and they didn't like its taste

Maybe you love music, so you turn it up and play it loud

But some will get angry all because they don't like its sound

Maybe you're a loner, so you like to be alone

Maybe it's because your heart got deeply wounded by a loved one that is now unknown

You may love to write, and only have hopes of being a writer

You may be an addict and only want more cigarattes and another liter

No matter who you are though, it's your choice, it's your life

All life can begin with a smile, but sadly some lives end with a knife

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