The Importance of Mutual Respect between Parents and Children

The Importance of Mutual Respect between Parents and Children....hmmm...first everyone needs to have the understanding of the importance of mutual respect within the parent-child relationship that requires that we first have a clear definition of what respect itself actually entails. According to Webster, respect is the "willingness to show deferential consideration, appreciation, and regard for another's opinion, wishes, and judgment." As adults we usually understand the importance of demonstrating such regard for those we consider our equals or those of authority. Yet, as parents, we often mistakenly view respect as a one-way street, placing ourselves on the receiving end of what we consider our just due. We are, after all, the older and wiser, the life-givers and providers of our children. By thinking this, we tend to feel that any difference of opinion demonstrated by our children is an act of disrespect.

Certainly, we can not and should not consider our children as our equals in all ways. We have lived longer and have far more life experiences to base our opinions and decisions on. The fact is that our children are people too, complete with feelings, ideas, and desires. And recognition and consideration of these is ultimately linked with their sense of dignity and self-worth. We need to stress the importance of treating our children as we would want to be treated. As human beings, "children have the right to feel all their feelings, to have their body's dignity respected, and are entitled to expect to be treated worthily". This is the foundation of mutual respect.

This is not to say that we should allow our children to do whatever they want or change our decisions because they may disagree. It is our responsibility to teach them right and wrong. By doing so, they will ultimately make better choices as they grow and mature. But mutual respect means that we, as parents, must be willing to take the time to listen to their wishes and viewpoints just as we expect them to listen to ours. We must also be willing to compromise when doing so does not jeopardize their safety or the values we are attempting to teach them. By allowing them to make choices within acceptable limits, we are demonstrating our trust and respect for them as individuals.

Everyone has a different parenting style; no one can tell you the right way to raise your children. There is no book for this unfortunately. Whatever your chosen method is, however, you can always incorporate mutual respect into the fold. By giving your children the benefit of the doubt and allowing them the respect to make their choices, you are giving them a chance to blossom on their own. This initial respect is important for building a lasting and meaningful relationship with your children.

It's true what they say; raising children is definitely a labour of love. You put so much of yourself into it that it can become stressful and overwhelming, and that's before you take into consideration the fact that you also want your children to respect you. It doesn't need to always be highly stressful and constantly demanding though, you can have a wonderful civil relationship with your children. If you can treat them with genuine respect, they will be much more likely to treat you with the same. This mutual respect is important for the lasting bonds connecting parents and children throughout later life.

Respect goes both ways. Children need to be respectful and honest with their parents as well. If that doesn't happen, then the whole system will fail. How can you have respect for your child's decisions if they won't give you the respect and honesty you also deserve. Children will often listen to their parents more when they have respect for them. They won't want to let you down, and will follow your rules and be honest with you because of this respect. A mutual respect between parents and children means that communication will be open, issues will be discussed and disagreements will be dealt with through cooperation.

It doesn't need to be difficult to teach them this concept. As long as honesty and respect are a value that you consistently practice in your household your children should easily pick it up. It's a very old and warn out saying, but as long as you do unto others as you would have them do onto you, you should be fine. Putting that into perspective means that you can't expect your children to respect you and your decisions if you can't do the same for them.