Would You "Do Over" With Your Ex?

Are you thinking of resuming a relationship with your ex? How and when is it appropriate
to do so? Is resuming a relationship with an ex a positive or a negative? I'm a little torn because I come from the thoughts that you only move forward. I guess that I've had some time to think about this and yet someone else brought it to me to write about it. I feel so lucky...

I guess there are many reasons to start dating an ex again. After all, you must have had something in common to become a couple in the first place. You certainly had many good qualities to keep you interested before the "breakup", and it is normal to think back to the good times after you have gone your separate ways.


First, think about what made you two decide to "throw in the towel". If they were unfaithful or lied enough to make you suspicious that they were unfaithful, it probably is not a good idea to get back together. Chances are they will assume you have forgiven the "incident" if you accept them back after they cheated. Be prepared to leave the event fully in the past to give your renewed relationship a fair chance at succeeding this time. If you cannot do that, then it is probably best not to rekindle the romance. Less volatile issues (tidiness, choice of friends, etc.) may seem less important with some time apart.

Next, consider the reasons for your new perspective if the traits that were once deal breakers no longer bear the same importance to you. Make certain loneliness is not driving your decision-making process. Start finding things to do if you think a hole in your social calendar may be partially to blame for your willingness to forgive. It may not only put an end to your loneliness, but also help you to meet other people closer to your ideal match. Resist pressure from family and friends who liked them so much. A bad match is still a bad match even if your Auntie has other ideas...lol! Tell her to mind her business!

If you were responsible for the transgressions in your relationship and want to make amends, be prepared for a long, hard road. You are going to have to earn their trust again, and possibly make drastic changes in your life to prove you have changed for the better. Typically, it takes two years without incident to be able to convince someone the changes are permanent... typically(that's what the statistics said)...lmao! The object of your affections may not choose to wait that long to see if you are, in fact, regretful. While it may be too late to get back together with your ex, positive changes may help you to attract a more suitable match in your future.


Never consider dating your ex again if they come with baggage that is hurtful to you. It is never okay for a anyone to be violent towards you, and if your ex was violent towards you your physical safety must come first. Allowing yourself to resume a relationship with a batterer is potentially deadly, and not worth it. An ex doesn’t need to slap you to be hurtful, either. Don’t waste your time with an ex who was verbally abusive. If you were really so ugly, stupid, unattractive or mean, would they really want to get back together with you? Verbal abuse often leads to physical harm, and it is best left in the past. Drug and alcohol addictions are also potentially damaging to you. Do not consider reuniting with an ex who is newly clean and sober. Wait at least one year to determine if their rehabilitation was successful...but they can be manipulative so be prepared


I guess you need to asses dating your ex the same way you would any other person. Are they clean, respectful or considerate? Do they meet your expectations of a good partner and potential spouse? Sometimes the passage of time allows you to appreciate traits in an ex you did not acknowledge at the time. Maturity can be a wonderful relationship enhancement. With both eyes wide open, the second time around can be great with an ex.