T.O.W....restless

Against my better judgement (only God can really judge me) I'm gonna repost this and just see what happens. Officially penned on December 14, 2009.

TOW--Ya'll know what this means...

At four in the morning,
as you release me from your arms
into the limbo of uncertainty and semi-existence,
I begin to feel the weight of reality
closing its pages on my character.

You return to your world,
where I exist unspoken,
or intertwined in lies of your "friend Nattie",

You play your role so well
to another woman I wish I was.

You play house so well,
in a bed I should share with you,
in a kitchen I should be cooking for you,
in a dimension I should be part of,
but I'm not.

I have no right to bitch,moan, complan, or cry.
I tried out for the lead part apparantly in this fucked up drama.
From that first forbidden kiss crossing that line,
to last nite when you were with me,
your other woman, mistress, aka "tha dumb bitch",

But still i'm empty with envy.
Even if you don't love her.
She gets the privilage of her name being spoken

My identity has never passed through your mouth,
You respect her enough not to hurt her,
but you don't love me or respect me enough to keep me.

So I wait impatiently not tryin to cross lines,
hidden in the shadow of your "situation",
prisoner to the relationship that we created,
and watched and questioned when I want to do something,
as if I was the one who needed to be watched.

I wait for this fiction to become reality.
Highly doubtful of this even happening so why even wait...