Bitch Please, You'll Never Be Like Me...

This goes out to that insecure, non-working ass, can't keep yo marriage together cuz you too busy lettin yo kids run yo shit lookin, disrespect'n my momma (ya'll, yes she did), "i'm gonna go where you go Boo" cuz this chick right here might try to fuck you in the hospital emergency room, non-independent woman that thinks that just cuz she MARRIED we all jealous of her! {breathe}

BITCH PLEAZE!

Ladies please tell this chick who I am!: (and yes I put a damn colon after my exclaimation mark cuz I'm bout to break this shit down)!

I'm a hard workin black woman that is Certified and Degreed. Let me list them for you:


Bachelor Degree in Mechanical Engineering. Yes honey the label "ME" goes behind my name


Associate Degree in Human Resource Management--I know people that know people please dont make me send them your way. And that would be "HRM" after the "ME"


Associate Degree in Business Management--This is important... I "manage" my business and trust me baby I can "manage" yours too! Been there, done that! A.S.B.A homie...


Associate Degree in Computer Science-I can help Facebook block out all tha fake ass hoes! You included! That think that just because you Married that everyone wants to be like you...again I say, BITCH PLEAZE!! M.I.S. oh yea, don't get it twisted!


Project Management Professional-- yea this means that I can WORK, watch tv, clean my house and be on facebook at the same time all while I make my paper! cuz {singin} I dont know what you heard about me, I'm a muthafuckin PMP...Get at her Curtis!


And i'm Six Sigma Black Belt Certified- And no this aint karate! This grown woman shit! Ask your employer why they contracted me...whoops! I forgot yo ass dont work! SSBB...smdh, I'm so exhausted cuz my brain is overworked!

Boo I never meant to make you more insecure than you already was. I can't help it that these men find it attractive that a black woman (don't let this bright skin fool yo ass) can handle her own. I dont need a man to do for me. But you can best believe that any man that I am with is taken care of by every means necessary and I am too! Let me give my tribute to Michael Jackson yet again by sayin that "I rememba tha time" no wait, let's not give you the upper hand to know what went down in my relationship but yet lets turn all the attention on you boo-boo since you are the one with the 3.5 carat ring & 2 carat diamond bracelet... ooh, i'm so cool on you right now but all I gotta say is that just cuz the ring is big (so are other things) that dont mean that it hold sentimental value to the one that matches his mothers...and we all know how much he loves momma. Did you see that in the picture... I bet you didn't but you bout to check that shit out now on facebook...lol!



Wow! It's funny how all the ex's can chill and not be beef'n til that one ____________(cuz I got so many words to fill in that fuckin blank right now its crazy) come around with that "all eyes on me" mentality. Bitch you aint 2Pac! You may look like Biggie and I know you beggin yo husband to "give you one more chance" but that shit aint got nothing to do wit me.

So, I'm glad that I got my girls behind me always cuz Real recognize Real and lil wayne in the background flowin "She's on Fire"! See my homegirls is down fa whateva but yo people is too busy sayin stupid shit like "Hatas go hard they like diddy cant stop wont stop" Again Bitch Pleaze! Use a realistic lyrical genius like Jay-Z and sing "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" Even Eminem & Wayne is flowin betta than Diddy! I wanna be like them and "pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your fuckin’ head" cuz that's what this bitch do!



I'm just so weak that all you came with was some stupid ass Facebook status! Forreal! Do you not know that I assasinate bitches with my words?!?!?! So let me analyze yo dumb ass status...hmm...simple bitches is soooo easy...hahaha!

"Married dont get it confused"--why we need to be confused honey? Cuz apparently that 3.5 carat ring is worth more than your marriage. Post all the pictures you want honey cuz it really dont matter we all know the truth! We are SECURE in our relationships...



"So rather we get on each other nerves or not or rather you like that were together"- Bitch pleaze, who gives a fuuuuuck! I dont have to like it really dont care, remember you have a problem with me! As far as the nerves go, Damn there aint gonna be a therapist in town with no degree high enough to fix tha shit you call a marriage!



"You had your turn now it's mine"-- Do you Boo... do you! But for it to be a "game" doesn't it have to include two players not just one... last time I checked, well nevamind. But real funny tho...hahah! you amused me for .2 seconds!



Oh shit and my favorite "so when I see you in person continue to be mute... and only comment on fb"-- now this bitch dun up an dun it! Umm when I saw yo dumb ass last it was at the hospital to see "MY NEPHEW" and why was I there?!?!?! Drumroll please... Cuz...wait, let me clear my throat... I am family and your husband called me boo! And I was far from mute then so I dont know what tha fuck you talking bout! but it really dont matter...by tha fuckin way, dont worry yourself with what I give to momma. I dont bring her stress and DRAMA i bring her help with whatever she need. Always has and Always will! So the next time you open yo mouth to speak and let stupid shit slid out rememba that look "yo husband" gave you that just plain meant "shut tha fuck up" I remember that from "my turn" but apparently you haven't learned that yet!



So yes, I so enjoyed all of my day cuz I got to also enjoy "a conversation" and felt so bad to hear that WARNING due to the high volume of drama and kidish acting ways this facebook page may be deleted at any time so make sure you know how to stay intouch with me in the event of this happening.. Maybe that was for you..hmmm!



If you didnt read my status today on facebook it went something like this:



Really! When did i became such a threat? Now I understand that if you dont have your life together that can be frustrating at times but that is YOUR fault, not mine! I told ya'll that I cant turn all this off. Yes you are MARRIED and that's fine cuz that was your choice. So you need to tend that or find a hobby. I got ..."tha dream" Family, Friends, Personal life, Job, House, Cars... GET ON MY LEVEL!

I'm so sick of insecure women that think that their job is to "check up" on they man like facebook lurkin is they job! who's got that time! Yea a face to face may def be in order but don't let my suite and heels fool ya. I will be a corporate thug! Try me!

And as far as that 3.5 carat ring & 2 carat diamond bracelet, hold on to that 'ish cuz you gonna need it to pay ya rent boo! See this is what happens when you hang around other NON-independent females, they wanna gas you up and make you THINK that you are something that you already know you aint. {singin} I N D E P E N D E N T Do You Know What That Mean Man!

So with all this being said I cant wait for tomorrow for us all to have a blast again. And if you should ever be so lucky to be in my presence Imma need you to address me as follows:

Ms. Natasha M. Johnson, ME, HRM, A.S.B.A, MIS, PMP, SSBB that's one nice ass lookin title cuz i'm a "paperfiend" ...Wassup Laylo;-) Keep makin that music baby!

what's yours??? WIFE--for now! Do you even get paid for that shit???