Co-Parenting, No-Parenting or Why am I here...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
If you live in a household where there is two parents but they do not see eye-to-eye who is at a loss? The parents, the kids, or everyone. There comes a time when we have to be able to parent together and separate! If you are the parent that spends the most time with the kids due to the fact that the other parent is absent (not literally but in the sense) how can you trust that your children are being "taken care of" when they are in that other parents care. If the children always have to call you to get things done and the other parent is closer to where the situation is this is a problem. If I cant trust that the other parent cant handle the situation where does this leave the kids. This is not any reflection of my life because me and my kid's father have mastered this skill! Yes if a problem arises and the absent parent is not there rest assure that the situation will be handled by the present parent and will be discussed at a later time. But to have one parent that is the entire axis of parenting is just simply "single-parenting" Which brings me to my next point.
If you recognize this and your only reason for being there is for the children why not just take your kids and move on? What are you so afraid of...the fact that the children wont see both parents in the same household? To be forthright, about 35% of children come from a single-parent family and they are doing just fine. I can attest to this. I came from a home where my mother was my center, and everything that she did revolved around me. I turned out okay and believe it or not, I dont think that if my father was in the picture that I would be the person that I am today. The values would have been different. But because my mother accepted her position in life as a mother, it gave me the opportunities that I needed to be the woman that I am today.
So parents (mothers and fathers) quit making excuses as to why you are in a relationship with your kids other parent. If it's just for the kids...MOVE ON!! If not, accept that fact that you are lyin to everyone you know about your relationship when the true fact of the matter is that you're not willing to let go of the other parent and it has not thing to do with the kids.
Again...this is not my life! Just something that I picked up on and really tired of hearing about it.
2 comments:
First, I'd like to say congratulations on not using the term "baby daddy" or "baby momma". Those words put together irritate the shit out of me.
Second, I'm also single-parently raised(don't know if that's correct phrasing) and while i don't know if i would consider myself fine, i do know i would be an even bigger asshole if i had been raised by my dad. and one thing i truly respected about my mom was the fact that she always told her kids that she'd rather raise us alone then have us have to watch and experience the bullshit she went through with my dad. So i'm not trying to hear that "for the kids" crap. i'm better because my mom wanted better, for her kids and for herself.
Nice post Nattie.
Brian I agree! I too am not a fan of the terms "baby daddy" or "baby momma," its just disrespectful. It was your decision to be with that person and all the times may not have been great but you got a blessing in the end regardless of the actions of the other parent. Its just easier to let these children see that their parents can communicate with each other and maybe this will bring our children closer to want/need to communicate with us when they have issues/questions.
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